


I would walk 155 miles (to have you in my arms)

by seoulfulnights



Series: HWH Summer Bingo [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, First Love, First Time, HWHbingo, Horny Teenagers, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Online Dating, Smut, Teenage Drama, instagram love, messy first time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:46:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoulfulnights/pseuds/seoulfulnights
Summary: "I can’t just go comment on some ulzzang’s profile and boom, he’ll want us to meet and date."Alternatively, Hyungwon learns that he could do just that and get the famous ulzzang Shin Wonho's attention. They would be a perfect match, if it weren't for those 155 miles between them.





	1. Love at first like

**Author's Note:**

> Entry for HWH Bingo - Long distance relationship prompt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> later note: I have made a [little playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRCJXOaEny6OpIoj1Neleuu_gfD7ySac6) to fit this story. The songs are in order with the events and each chapter has 5 songs. I know sometimes music can get one into the story easier.  
> 

Hyungwon wasn’t that much of an avid social media user. If it weren’t for his closest friend Minhyuk, his Instagram would neither exist nor have any posts. But as it is, Minhyuk made sure to always update the younger’s profile with ‘aesthetic’ photographs the two take sometimes when they hang out. He also makes sure Hyungwon follows the hottest celebrities or ulzzangs. And to Hyungwon’s chagrin, Minhyuk also tries to land him a boyfriend.

 

“Look, not everyone is gay like us, okay? I can’t just go comment on some ulzzang’s profile and boom, he’ll want us to meet and date.That could only happen in one of your stupid manhwa.” Hyungwon tries in vain to make his friend understand _common sense_ , the blond beagle-like boy just keeps scrolling through Hyungwon’s timeline and liking posts. Holding back a frustrated sigh, the black haired boy looks around the school’s yard to make sure nobody has heard him, even though he spoke quietly enough. Just because their friends know about their sexuality and have come to terms with it doesn’t mean that other students would too. This was still South Korea after all and there was a long way until it could be called a safe environment for homosexual people.

Minhyuk’s neighbor, a kind of shy freshman called Changkyun, drops his backpack next to them and sits on the freshly mowed grass besides Hyungwon, who was still keeping a close eye on Minhyuk – he could never be trusted while having Hyungwon’s phone in his hands. “I can’t wait to graduate,” the newcomer grunts, lying down to rest his aching back. Hyungwon eyes the big bag next to Changkyun and scoffs. Typical freshman, carrying around all the books and auxiliary workbooks the teachers ask for. In this rhythm he’ll develop some back problems. Minhyuk’s snickering stops Hyungwon before he gets to share this thought with Changkyun. Minhyuk’s snickering is _never_ a good sign. 

“What did you do?” Hyungwon snaps his head in the blond’s direction who simply offers him a sweet smile before handing back the boy’s phone. The color drains from Hyungwon’s modelesque face as he stares at the screen where some ulzzang’s selfie stares back at him, a comment below it. A comment signed by Hyungwon’s account.

_‘You’re so hot hyung!!’_

Minhyuk barely has time to get up and run for his life as Hyungwon cracks and goes in rage mode, grabbing Changkyun’s heavy backpack and throwing it in his friend’s direction. The bag hits the ground with a loud _huff_ that gets drowned in Minhyuk’s laughter. “You so owe me for that one tho! Just look at that guy!” Hyungwon does.

Well, this Shin Wonho as his bio states is indeed very good-looking and handsome and he definitely wouldn’t mind going out with such a hot catch. But the guy is probably straight. The only gay people Hyungwon has met so far were more on the skinny, lanky side, not so well-built like this guy. Okay, truthfully he doesn’t know that many gay people, just him, Minhyuk and a few other he met through the blond.

“Minhyuk, this guy screams hetero. What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Nu-uh! He hinted that he doesn’t have a gender preference! And I’m sure he dated some guys in the past.” The over-enthusiast boy sing-songs while Changkyun gets up and sneaks Hyungwon’s phone out of the taller’s hand. His eyebrow raises slightly as he scrolls through the ullzang’s profile too, but he doesn’t comment on it. (Both Hyungwon and Minhyuk think the younger has yet to realize his orientation as well, Changkyun was way too awkward with girls to be straight). 

“Doesn’t matter, I’m gonna kill you if this will get some stupid ulzzang and his stupid stalkers come after my head.” 

“Actually I think he’ll come after you to _give_ him head.” Minhyuk clearly had a death wish, expressing his idiotic thoughts so bluntly. Hyungwon can feel his blood pressure pick up and a vein twitching on his temple as he pinches the top of his nose trying to calm down. Minhyuk’s neck is frail enough even for Hyungwon to strangle if he applies enough force, he just needs to get close to his victim and attack. He doesn’t get to finish that line of thought as Changkyun pulls at his sleeve to ask for his attention. 

“He replied to that comment.”

He _what_.

Minhyuk quickly scrambles to see the comment too but Hyungwon pushes him hard enough for the older to fall on his butt, efficiently keeping the hyperactive kid away from his phone. Praying that the hot ulzzang doesn’t hate him, his attention drifts towards the electronic device.

‘ _You’re not bad yourself, dongsaengie ;)_ ’ 

Hyungwon’s brain goes in overdrive, eyes bulging out of their sockets as he stares at the winky face. Is it a flirty winky face or just a playful friendly one? _Dongsaengie_?? Is this Shin Wonho flirting back or just accepting his – Minhyuk’s – complement?

“Damn hyung, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this red,” Changkyun’s voice chirps from his left as Minhyuk manages to steal the phone and look at the comment. 

“Oh my god! He followed you back!”

Hyungwon will definitely kill Minhyuk later. He just has to faint first.

 

_***_

He stays away from his phone until late at night, too scared to go online. He punched Minhyuk’s shoulder so much today that he’s sure the blond’s already purple. Whatever. He deserved it. 

As much as he beat his brains out to think of what he should do to avoid complete humiliation in front of Shin Wonho, he couldn’t come up with anything. So at the end of the day he throws himself under the covers and hopes he can asphyxiate himself with his pillow. Before that can actually happen, curiosity gets the better of him and he connects his phone to the house’s wi-fi eventually. 20 notifications pop-up. With his heart threatening to just jump out of his chest, Hyungwon opens his Instagram app only to notice Wonho had liked _every single selca_ Hyungwon has ever posted. Well, photos of Hyungwon that Minhyuk posted. Whatever.

And the cherry on top? He had a new message. From one @wonho0103.

 

‘ _you’re really not bad at all Hyungwonnie ;)’_

 

Stare. Deep breath. Scream into pillow.

 

These are the steps Hyungwon follows as he reads the message over and over. _Shit_ , Wonho can see he read the message. He has to reply now. He’s going to beat Minhyuk into a bloody pulp tomorrow. But first he has to fix his image in front of Hyungwon.

 

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _: that comment was from my friend_

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: oh? so you don’t find me hot?_

 

Shit. The response came immediately which means Wonho is online. Hyungwon’s certain now that the winky face is totally flirty and he feels his stomach twisting into knots as it sinks in. Wonho is _flirting_ with him. Hyungwon bites his lower lip nervously as his fingers hover over the keyboard. It’s not that he is insecure about his looks and the scenario of some guy flirting with him seems impossible, quite the opposite. He’s aware of his beauty and oblivious girls who couldn’t take a hint tried to woo him since forever, much to his annoyance and Minhyuk’s amusement. At least he had a secure stock of chocolate prepared on every v-day. But this is different. Totally different. Wonho is a _guy_ . Who is _flirting_ with him. Hyungwon’s mind didn’t come around it yet. 

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _: i didn’t say that :)_

 

Nice. Showing off his very professional and elaborate flirting skills. Hyungwon cringes at his own texts and wishes he could delete it immediately, but three dots pop up before he can say anything else, signaling that Wonho was typing a reply. Hyungwon kicks off his blanket, suddenly too heavy and suffocating. Maybe he should open a window? It was too hot for an April night. Way too hot. Or perhaps talking with this hot stranger just got him worked up.

 

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: that’s a relief. i’d have been seriously hurt if you’d turn me down like that babe_

 

Hyungwon chokes on air. He screenshots the conversation and quickly sends the snap to Minhyuk followed by many ‘?????’ and ‘what do i do’, but his friend must be playing stupid video games with Changkyun again or something. He’d better be dead if he doesn’t reply in the next five seconds.

 

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: scared you off already cutie?_

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _: no, i’m still here_

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _: just didn’t think you’d be so direct_

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: life’s too short to beat around the bush ;)_

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: that being said, i’d like to get to know you_

 

He’s going to need some new lip balm with how much he’s been chewing on his lower lip during their brief text-exchange. _I can’t just go comment on some ulzzang’s profile and boom, he’ll want us to meet and date_. Fuck college, he’s gonna become a fortune teller. Minhyuk still hasn’t replied to his desperate call for help so he can also go fuck himself. Hyungwon’s not gonna show or tell him anything about Wonho.

 

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _: what do you wanna know?_

 **_@wonho0103:_ ** _what are u wearing rn? ;)_

 **_@wonho0103:_ ** _jk. how old are u?_

 

Seems like he already dropped off speaking in what's considered literary language and switched to using abbreviations. Hyungwon follows his example.

 

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _: i’m 17. and i’m wearing pjs. u?_

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: lol. 18 and naked ;)_

_**@hyungwonnie_** : … _

**_@wonho0103_ ** _: srry. but i prefer sleeping naked, its more refreshing_

Hyungwon glances at his own attire, simple black shirt and underwear beneath a thin robe his parents got him from Japan last year. He’s not gonna elaborate on that, lest Wonho make fun of him for being such a twink. Or perhaps he wouldn’t mock Hyungwon, he literally has no idea what kind of person Wonho is. Maybe he should do what Minhyuk usually does: stalk his profile. Wonho had many selcas that were downright sexting material. Hyungwon wouldn’t send such provocative content even to his boyfriend, if he had one. It also seemed that Wonho had an active night life, if the posts with club lights and lines of shots were to tell something.

 

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _:  i guess im more boring_

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: i wouldnt hurry to label u as boring :) i like ur posts btw_

 **_@hyungwonnie__ ** _: my friend who commented on ur photo takes care of my account_

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: am i at least talking with the real hyungwonnie or the friend lol_

 

Hyungwon hesitates for a second before taking a selca in bed, closing one eye and throwing in a v sign for good measures.

 

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: damn ure so handsome even with a bare face..._

 **@** ** _hyungwonnie__ ** : _im almost always bare faced lol_

 **_@wonho0103_ ** _: you’re really beautiful Hyungwon \\(￣ < ￣)> _

 

The black haired boy smiles at the cute emoji and sends some kisses instead, upping the conversation _._ Wonho seems delighted by that, becoming even more talkative and asking about Hyungwon’s likes and preferences while sharing his own. In just a few hours Hyungwon learns that Wonho practices taekwondo, that his ideal type is someone who can cook good ramen for him to which Hyungwon asks if Wonho is also some kind of Naruto wannabe (“ _haha thats cute. well id like to be a hero like that. i can be your hero ;)_ ” ), he discovers that Wonho is deadly afraid of heights and that he still lives with his mom for now but plans to move to Seoul after graduation this summer. 

The distance between them brings a dark cloud above Hyungwon’s head, 155 miles meant an almost three hour drive. Not like he’d meet up with Wonho anytime soon. They just met (sort of). But that doesn’t stop either of them from keeping the conversation going until the early hours of the morning, barely catching any zzzs before they have to go to school. 

Minhyuk buggs him the whole day to reveal what went down with Wonho, apologizing that he was asleep when Hyungwon sent him the s.o.s. Hyungwon just shakes his head and not even his nosey friend can disturb his mood as Wonho sends him a morning selfie with a ‘morning babe’ caption. He was starting to grow fond of the appellative.

 

_***_

After a few weeks of constant texting - they switched from the inefficient instagram messaging platform to classic messages - Wonho asks Hyungwon if he’d be comfortable to talk on the phone. He had seen some short videos the ulzzang posted on his profile and already knows the sound of his laughter, a sound he’s sure it could cure depression, yet the thought of hearing Wonho’s voice for the first time talking directly to him makes his heartbeat pick up, his palms get sweaty and a lump forms in his throat. But he accepts. Not only a few minutes later Wonho’s name pops asking for a video call. 

Hyungwon panics for a second and quickly checks his reflection in the mirror before finding a spot in his room that he knows it has good lightning. Then, taking a deep breath, he hits on the green button. Wonho’s beautiful smile greets him and Hyungwon swears he’s never seen something this beautiful in his whole life. The blond seems to be in some sort of cafe judging by the background noise, but he might as well be on a construction site and still look flawless.

“ _Hey Hyungwonnie~_ ” 

“H-hi,” Hyungwon shows his awkward turtle little smile as he waves to the camera and Wonho grins wider. A blush crawls up Hyungwon’s neck and he hopes the ulzzang can’t notice it. He liked Wonho’s voice a lot, could get used to hearing it more. Preferably every day as he wakes up. 

“ _Your voice is so much softer than I expected._ ” 

The teasing tone doesn’t escape him and Hyungwon scoffs, retorting immediately, “I haven’t expected you to have a lisp, but here we are.” Color drains from Wonho’s face even more (like he wasn’t pale enough as it is) and Hyungwon realizes he hit a sensitive topic, so he quickly adds with a shy smile on his face. “But I really like it.”

Laughter chirps up from his speakers and Hyungwon realizes he’s more fond of this side of Wonho, one he doesn’t usually showcase in his posts lest it degrade his ultra chic ulzzang image. He can tell by the way the blond talks that underneath that (delicious) tough well-built exterior, there is a very soft and fragile heart. And despite the fuckboy image Wonho might allure, Hyungwon thinks he knows better and hopes nobody will ever play with this bunny’s feelings. 

He could stare at Wonho’s smile for hours on end, it was that mesmerizing for him. And he almost does, considering they end up chatting for a long while until Wonho goes to meet with somebody else at another café. Unlike when he chats with Minhyuk for example, Hyungwon actually pays attention to what the other is telling him while talking about his day, asking fitting questions here and there instead of the usual grunts that signal he’s still on the line but not quite listening. 

In turn, he gives a tour of his bedroom to Wonho, who gets really excited when he sees Hyungwon’s electronic keyboard and learns that the black haired can play the piano. Hyungwon can only do as much as comply when Wonho does freaking _aegyo_ to make him play something for him. After 10 seconds attempting to reproduce _River flows into you,_ the younger boy hides his face embarrassed while the one on the other side of the line claps encouragingly for him to go on. “Maybe another time,” Hyungwon mutters and peeks at the screen resuming his newfound favorite pastime action. 

Hyungwon feels _light_ the whole day and Minhyuk keeps accusing him of getting high without him. You could say that. Shin Wonho’s smile is more addictive and efficient than weed and Hyungwon’s sure it could bring world peace. He wants to see that smile more and swears to never be the cause it disappears. As a rule, Hyungwon is protective of his friends and always looked out from the shadows, without them quite noticing his efforts. But the feeling in his heart for Shin Wonho is definitely not a friendly kind of protection and he can only envy the people who actually hang out with the blond ulzzang. A little voice in his head whispers to him that one day he will too, but Hyungwon was never one for wishful thinking.

Except Wonho calls him as he was getting in bed and they talk until Hyungwon can’t keep his eyes open anymore. “ _You’re so cute when you’re sleepy like this_ , _”_ the older coos through the speaker, a gentle smile on his face. Hyungwon’s own smile mirrors Wonho’s as they say goodnight. He’s not quite surprised by the third call in the morning. “ _Hey, just wanted to wish you a nice day at school._ ”

 

_***_

Summer was approaching and Hyungwon was increasingly growing more anxious by day. He got quite attached to Wonho - Hoseok, he reminds himself every time as the ulzzang has trusted him enough to reveal his real name - but something just kept him warry. He felt like he was poking a sleeping bear with a stick. How many other guys did Hoseok talk to like _this_? Considering how fast he contacted Hyungwon, he must have some experience behind that allowed him to hit on people with such confidence. Minhyuk wasn’t helping him at all showing photos of Hoseok’s ex-girlfriend and other people he might have dated. 

The fact that Minhyuk and Hoseok also started chatting didn’t help his cause either. At least, Hoseok wasn’t flirty at all when he talked with Minhyuk, Hyungwon made sure of that by demanding (driven by something he doesn’t want to call jealousy) Minhyuk’s phone to read their conversations. Later on Hoseok had teased him about it, calling him cute and adorable. “ _Don’t worry about it Hyungwonnie, you’re my bae~_ ” 

And Hoseok did act like Hyungwon is his _bae_ . They facetimed a lot and if they weren’t, they were texting and sending each other snaps. The flirting never quite died down, on the contrary it only seemed to be picking up with each day, but it also grew a _sweet_ undertone with Hoseok always making sure Hyungwon didn’t skip meals (it just happened sometimes, he wasn’t doing it on purpose) or that he doesn’t take way too many naps and actually gets some things done for school. Even Minhyuk stopped being curious about what he and Hoseok were talking and every time Hyungwon took out his phone, he’d roll his eyes and hum _Here comes the bride_ , with Changkyun making unnecessary drumming sounds. “Stop it. We’re not dating, we haven’t even seen each other face to face.” Hyungwon groans. 

“Yet. I bet he’s gonna come on a white horse and you two will ride off on a rainbow,” his blond best friend sing-songs in that annoying voice he always does when he wants to tease somebody.

“Jealous?” Hyungwon spits back playfully and Minhyuk’s grin falls. It gets eerily quiet for the blond and their other friend fidgets in his place obviously not comfortable in this awkward silence. 

“You know how rare it is to find somebody for us? Even if the distance seems overwhelming, don’t let it go, okay?” Minhyuk’s voice is unusually serious, a rare event. Hyungwon knows how much his friend craves for companionship, how much he wishes to find somebody just like they do in all the yaoi manga he’s been reading since forever. He didn’t think about it until now though, he didn’t consider how him finding Wonho (he still won’t admit they’re sort of dating) would affect Minhyuk. So he reaches out for his friend, hugs him tight and promises him he won’t fuck it up. 

Later that night, he’s facetiming with Hoseok again and the blond just finished telling him about his ordinary day, taekwondo practice, school and hanging out with his friends before calling Hyungwon on his way home. Mrs. Shin also greets him cheerfully when Hoseok enters the house and shows his phone screen to his mother - something Hyungwon discovered it’s quite an extraordinary thing, since Hoseok doesn’t introduce his friends to his dear mother. Hoseok shamelessly puts his phone on his desk against a pile of books so Hyungwon can still see him while he takes off his shirt, revealing rock hard abs. Hyungwon’s drooling. 

After changing (in front of Hyungwon nonetheless) into more comfortable clothes, Hoseok asks his _bae_ about his day. “W-well,” the younger stutters as he pulls his hoodie over his head, quite embarrassed by the deep blush covering his cheeks, but the smirk on Hoseok’s face tells him it’s too late to hide. “Just school. And having to stand Minhyuk’s stupidity.” The blond ulzzang laughs and Hyungwon feels better all of a sudden. Hesitantly, he tries to bring up the topic that bothers him ever since today’s talk with Minhyuk. “He keeps insisting we’re dating.” 

At this Hoseok’s laughter dies as he lies down on his bed, phone in hand. God damn it, why was he always acting like a cam-boy when he and Hyungwon were video calling? It only frustrated Hyungwon further. For two months since they started talking he didn’t even open one porn site, which for a hormonal 17 year old was quite a feat. But who needs porn when you got Shin Hoseok stripping for you without even asking? 

“ _And what did you tell him_?”

Hyungwon bites his lower lip nervously. Hoseok sounded nervous himself, though he obviously tries to hold his composure and a neutral face. “I told him we aren’t...since we haven’t even seen each other face to face.”   

“ _Ah,_ ” there’s a playful grin tugging on Hoseok’s lips and Hyungwon’s heart does a backflip. How can somebody make him go through so many emotions? “ _That can be fixed. I wanted to tell you earlier but didn’t get the chance to bring it up. There’s a taekwondo competition in Gwangju.”_ Hyungwon feels like he’s floating all of a sudden at the thought of meeting up with Hoseok. Of having Hoseok right in front of his eyes, handsome, cute Hoseok. _Real_ Hoseok. “ _So if you’re up for it we can meet then_.” 

“When?” the black haired asks before the other gets to finish his sentence. Hoseok chuckles at how impatient and eager the cute boy sounds. 

“ _In two weeks_. _Maybe we can decide then if we’re dating or not, what do you think?_ ”

The smirk on Hoseok’s handsome face only brings out his beautiful features even more and it makes Hyungwon want to reach out through the screen and pull him in for a kiss. But instead he settles for a simple, stuttered, “I-I’d like that…”

 

_***_

Hyungwon was never one to be insecure. Okay, he was sort of insecure about coming out to people or others discovering his (obvious) orientation, but that is more so anxiety than an actual flaw of his that bugs him.  He saw enough queer kids getting bullied around for being different, and he quite liked sitting in the shadows for now. It was safe. Yet, since he accepted the depth of his crush on Hoseok - he refuses still to admit he’s in love, he won’t say he’s in love - anxious bubbles keep popping around him. 

As much as he tried to deny it, Hoseok - Wonho - had made a name of himself among ulzzangs as the playboy bunny, never quite settling in a serious relationship, always flirting with more than one person. Catching Wonho was harder than catching one of those extra rare pokemons Minhyuk was crazy about. So how could he, plain, country side boy with no certain future plans and a plain, ordinary life, achieve such a feat of making Hoseok exclusively his? 

The blond’s words were reassuring at first, sure. It even grew on him the way Hoseok called him bae every now and then, but still, what if he wasn’t truly Hoseok’s before anything else? Never in his life did he think he’ll get like this, it’s even embarrassing to admit. But he started searching more stuff about Hoseok. And since Minhyuk was friends now with the blond, he was reluctant to ask the walking ulzzang encyclopedia about him. What if Hoseok found out? He wouldn’t be able to live down the shame, if Hoseok doesn’t down right stop talking to him for being such a weirdo. But Hyungwon can’t help it! 

He can’t help the ugly green mask that was given to him and seemingly that can't be taken off. With the number of rumored exes Wonho had, Hyungwon’s sure he wouldn’t be able to track all of them down even if he wanted, so instead he only looked up the ones who appeared the most among the rumored list. Minhyuk, the little traitor, also takes it upon himself as his best friend duty to inform Hyungwon of all the ‘facts’ he knew about Wonho before the two boys started chatting. 

“Like, there was this chick who bragged online that she slept with Wonho and that he’s the best she ever had in bed. Wonho replied to that post with a smirk emoji. He’s that kind of person. So even though I’m glad you found somebody hot, please take care Hyungwonnie.” 

And he tried to take care, yet here he was two weeks later. Utterly freaking out. Not only was he actually _shaking_ in front of the atheneum, unsure of whether he should go in or not, but he was _this_ close to hyperventilating. He and Hoseok have settled to meet up in front of the building after the competition was over, but Hyungwon, the over eager gay teen he was, came earlier by 2 hours, barely missing the start of the competition. In the end, curiosity gets the better of him and he enters the building with uncertain steps.

It doesn’t take a lot of time to find an empty seat with a good view. It doesn’t take a lot to spot his charming prince either. Hoseok is even more beautiful in real life, as unbelievable as that sounded. He’s not even wearing charming attire, although the chest peeking out from his jacket made Hyungwon’s throat dry. Hoseok doesn’t look his way, since he’s not expecting the other to come at the competition. With a sudden courage bolt to change that, Hyungwon pulls out his phone and texts the blond. 

‘ _nice uniform babe’_

Luckily, Hoseok still had his phone on him since there was some time until it was his turn. Hyungwon has to hold back a giggle as the athletic guy looks around frantically to find him. Deciding to be merciful, Hyungwon stands up finding yet another advantage of his height and ignoring the complains of some people behind him. His knees get weak as he witnesses firsthand the glory of Hoseok’s wide smile and his heart trembles at the thought of the other not liking him anymore now that they’re finally meeting. Hyungwon has known for years that he was gay and he had a few crushes on some seniors at a point, but nothing compares to the explosion of butterflies and sweaty hands he gets just from being in the same hall with Hoseok. 

As if he was putting on a show for the black haired student - and maybe he was - the taekwondo fighter makes sure not to tarnish his bad-ass image, winning a podium spot and raising up his medal towards Hyungwon’s direction. Out of everybody present and despite his quiet personality, the younger cheers the loudest for his (boy?)friend. Silently, he hopes Hoseok can protect his heart with the same force and dedication he demonstrated in the competition. Afterwards when everyone starts to exit the building, Hoseok motions for Hyungwon to meet at the gates. 

It knocks the air out of his lungs. Quite literally as Hoseok jumps him and pulls the lanky awkward turtle into a bone-crushing hug. His first instinct is to go stiff, not even a drunk Minhyuk gets that touchy with him. But this is _Hoseok_ , beautiful, caring Hoseok who smelled like sandalwood and musk and a tint of cigarettes and he’s a few centimeters shorter than himself, but his body is _rock hard_ and his arms are strong and - 

Hyungwon knows in that exact moment he’s screwed.

But Hoseok looks up at him in a _certain_ way, once he pulls off enough for them to lock eyes. It melts Hyungwon completely and he’s so damn ready to lean in and press their lips together at last. But there are people around and while hugging another boy in the middle of the street raised some questions, it wasn’t on the same par with a kiss. “Hey,” Hoseok whispers leaning in slightly, his eyes flicking between Hyungwon’s own dark orbs and his full lips. The black haired’s heart is about to pop out of his chest and, without meaning to, he takes a step back, successfully breaking their embrace. The blond is left dumbfounded, blinking a few times like a confused bunny. 

“Sorry, I moved too fast.” Hyungwon’s eyes widen as his ears pick up on the disappointment lingering in Hoseok’s voice and he wants to reach over and assure him of his feelings. But the guy from the news stall has been giving them the stink eye for a few minutes and it really stresses him out, even though he knows they’re not doing something _wrong_. 

“N-no, no! Just…” The younger hesitantly reaches for Hoseok’s hand and intertwines their pinkies together. The brilliant smile adorns the bunny boy’s face once again and Hyungwon feels the planets align. Everything is good in the world. Their fingers cling to each other all the way to Hyungwon’s favorite spot in the city, a quiet park where they can be by themselves. The older cracks a few jokes about his host kidnapping him or planning to kill him when they reach their destination. Somehow on the way, their hands had naturally slipped until not only their pinkies were intertwined, but rather all of their fingers. 

Hyungwon tries not to stare too hard at how his hand was made for holding Hoseok’s. An absolute perfect match. The blond doesn’t let go of his hand, instead he gives him a reassuring squeeze when he notices how the black haired looked intensely at the physical link between them. The road shrieks at a point and they barely fit on the pathway, but Hoseok makes little to no effort to let go of Hyungwon’s hand. 

“I can’t believe you’re here…” the younger whispers, eyes trained on the ground while Hoseok swings their intertwined hands back and forth like a child. It is something so innocent yet Hyungwon feels the act so heavy. They do it casually as if they’ve done it a million time, yet the significance of it almost scares Hyungwon. He is holding hands with Hoseok, and Hoseok doesn’t seem as nervous as he is so that gives him some kind of strength not to let go even when a group of people pass them. 

The blond pulls them to a halt and now Hyungwon also sees in front of his shoes Hoseok’s. When he looks up only to be met with that same look the ulzzang had in front of the atheneum as he leaned in for a kiss. This time Hyungwon doesn’t stop him and oh, _God_ , does it feel like coming home. Hoseok’s free hand rests on the boy’s jaw pulling him closer. Hyungwon feels like he just discovered all the secrets that the universe holds, the purpose of life. 

He was pretty damn sure that the only reason why he was born was to live this. Their kiss is but an innocent press of lips against each other and Hyungwon is innerly dying of embarrassment because he’s sure Hoseok can tell it’s his first kiss full stop. Yet it doesn’t seem to faze the blond as he nibbles on the other’s full lip, coaxing the younger’s mouth open with his sinful tongue. A small whine escapes Hyungwon as Hoseok’s tongue pulls his own in a slow tango and he curses himself for getting worked up so easily. 

His free hand rests on Hoseok’s nape, fingers cradling through the golden locks which makes the older kiss with even more vigor until Hyungwon pulls away for air, seemingly forgetting his vital need to _breathe_ up until this moment. His eyes fall on Hoseok’s mouth and on how red it turned, the swollen lips urging him to lean in again and kiss them til sundown. “I’m happy to be here,” the blond’s voice sounds more sultry and erotic than it should be allowed and Hyungwon starts to worry that if they continue this he might just pop a boner like the unexperimented virgin he is. Actually cut that, he’s already half way through with it but hopefully Hoseok won’t notice it. 

Except, of course he does, but to Hyungwon’s relief there’s only a teasing smirk on his handsome features instead of a snarky bite. Hoseok opens his mouth to say something, but he gets interrupted by his stomach growling. Hyungwon erupts in loud laughter as the blond hits his chest repeatedly to shush him down. They end up in some cheap cafeteria for students where they order ramen, seeing as it was Hoseok’s favorite dish. The blond even added in his bio ‘ramen lover’, which prompted Minhyuk many times to tease Hyungwon by paraphrasing Spice girls lyrics: ‘ _If you wanna be my lover, you gotta make me ramen~’_  

As night falls upon Gwangju, the two boys walk with arms hooked through the somewhat crowded streets. Hoseok is explaining once again the sparring rules used in taekwondo competitions, but the younger is too distracted, each of his senses overstimulated by the blond’s presence. He still can’t believe Hoseok, the handsome guy he started talking to a few months ago, was right here next to him, clinging to his lanky form. He can’t believe that but a couple of hours ago they shared their first kiss. Hyungwon’s first kiss. 

His face burns up at the memory and Hoseok’s voice falters as he notices the blush creeping up Hyungwon’s slender neck. They were heading towards Hyungwon’s house and some kind of tension seems to have built up during the day. The organizers of the taekwondo event settled up for all participants to sleep in one of the dorms offered by the local uni. When Hyungwon heard this during their late lunch, he couldn’t hide his disgusted face which made Hoseok laugh. He heard enough rumors about how nasty some of the dorms can be - especially those assigned to athletes - so his heart couldn’t allow his (boy?)friend to sleep in such conditions. The odds seemed to be in their favor as the younger’s parents have chosen exactly this particular night to go and visit the grandparents who live in another city. 

Hyungwon tries to turn it around in his head and believe that it’s just an innocent sleepover. He had tons of those with Minhyuk at either of their places and, of course, they haven’t meant anything, even if they were both homosexual. Just because he likes boys doesn’t mean that Hyungwon will go jump on any available queer that strays his way. Tho Minhyuk had suggested it a few times when he was drunk off his ass, but Hyungwon knows that the words are a consequence of Minhyuk feeling _lonely._. Before he met Hoseok he didn’t know he himself felt like that too. 

The blond makes himself at home as he looks around the main floor while Hyungwon took his backpack to the guest bedroom. Hoseok is enticed by the family photos of an even younger Hyungwon - he can’t believe the other looked like such a _pretty_ boy but a few years ago. Well, of course, Hyungwon was still pretty in a way, but the feminine traits of his cute face have matured and now Hoseok would rather use the word _beautiful_ to describe him. 

As soon as he saw him at the competition, Hoseok became completely smitten. Hyungwon is absolutely ethereal. He can’t believe such a human being exists, even less that he got to meet him. Hopefully, his handsy behaviour won’t scare Hyungwon away, from the first moment they hugged it was hard for the athlete to keep his hands to himself. Although they flirt all the time through texts and even on the phone, the brunette was pretty shy around Hoseok, like an awkward turtle. But it only made Hoseok want to have him even more. 

Unlike most of Hoseok’s flings, his relationship with Hyungwon wasn’t based purely on a carnal need. Looks wise, Hyungwon was indeed his ideal type - somebody who fit the shoes of Hoseok’s ideal person. Tall lean and slender, with a face so beautiful it looks unreal. But that isn't all that was to his attraction for the younger. He _loved_ talking with Hyungwon, learning his quirks, listening to his opinions, listening him ramble about his day. Sharing music and photos, watching him slowly fall asleep while they’re still facetiming. So when he saw the opening, he jumped on him for a kiss. And now that they’re at Hyungwon’s place _and_ home alone, he hoped he could get some more of that sweet nectar. 

When Hyungwon returns with another outfit on himself, Hoseok can’t help but lick his lips. Nobody should be allowed to look _that_ good in grey sweats and large T-shirts. Hyungwon scratches the back of his nape awkwardly, standing in the doorway between the living area and the kitchen. “So what do you wanna do?” his voice trembles slightly as Hoseok closes the distance between them. Hyungwon’s eyes are such a deep black that the blond could drown into them. His hand reaches out to cup the younger’s cheek, a fire igniting under his pale skin as the shy boy leans into his touch and closes his eyes, waiting for Hoseok to take his breath away. 

And he does. Hoseok kisses Hyungwon in the privacy of the taller’s house with hunger and need, pulling him so close one might think he’s trying to merge their bodies into one. Hyungwon lets out melodious moans as the blond’s experienced fingers slip under his large shirt to caress at the heated skin with his thumb. Although quite a novice in the art of kissing, the black haired boy is a quick learner and Hoseok a good teacher so in no time their innocent out of sync kisses turn into a heated make out with Hyungwon pressed against the nearest wall. The blond finds delight in how the other lets out a hitch pitched gasp when his teeth graze his pulse point before sucking on it eager to leave his mark behind. 

“H-hyung,” Hyungwon grips the older’s collar helplessly, only managing to expose Hoseok’s collarbones while dark hickeys bloom on his own neck. Hoseok slows down after the breathy gasp, his lips trailing up back to Hyungwon’s plump ones. Their kiss is much sweeter this time now that some of that tension was released and the initial restrain for skinship was forgotten. With his arms wrapped around Hoseok’s neck, Hyungwon kisses him back happily, a small smile playing on the corner of his mouth. 

“Would you play the piano for me?” the ulzzang asks between pecks and smiles when the other nods slowly, leaning in for a final kiss. Then he takes the older’s hand and leads him up the stairs towards his bedroom. He’s already seen it during their long video calls, but being in this room makes Hoseok feel like it’s the first time he sees it.  The walls were pristine white except for the one behind the bed that was a dark blue. There aren’t any posters or paintings hanged up nor any excessive decorations, everything kept quite minimalistic and elegant. He thinks it suits Hyungwon well. 

Hyungwon looks like a prince sitting in front of the keyboard, a light blush covering his soft cheeks. Hoseok sits down on his desk’s chair, eyes shifting between the bright red mark on the fragile neck and the way Hyungwon bites his lower lip nervously. “You don’t have to play for me if you don’t want to,” he says, trying to calm the younger a bit, but Hyungwon just shakes his head and offers him a shy smile before his long fingers start dancing across the keys to the tune of Franz Liszt’s _Liebestraum_ No.3. 

The harmonious notes carry Hoseok far away into a deep reverie, in a dream where he and Hyungwon are happy together, holding each other close, eyes shining with hope and adoration and joy. He holds back from wrapping himself around the other just so he wouldn’t disturb his concentration and make the cosmic melody stop. The whole background disappears, Hyungwon’s room, the taekwondo competition, the fact that tomorrow Hoseok’s got a train ride back to Anyang. 

It is a declaration of love - they’re both aware of it. Hyungwon’s trying to convey his feelings at the moment, how being here with Hoseok seems to be a dream. The blond emphasizes, having Hyungwon this close to him appears to be taken out of his love-infused dreams. As the song slowly turns into silence, it is replaced by two loud hearts beating in sync. The boys lock eyes and it is enough of a confirmation for both. Hoseok pushes the office chair closer, the small wheels sliding slowly on the parquet until he ends up but a few centimeters away from Hyungwon. “Be mine, baby,” he asks quietly, resting his forehead against Hyungwon's and cupping his face in his palms.  

The black haired beauty blushes as he whispers a small ‘okay’ before closing again the almost nonexistent distance between their lips. If Hoseok is this sweet on purpose because he figured out how inexperienced the younger is or how anxious Hyungwon feels at the moment, it doesn’t matter. Hyungwon appreciates it all the same, he grows more comfortable with their skinship by second and doesn’t hesitate to cuddle up to Hoseok when they’re watching some movie on his laptop later on - he can’t even tell what was the name of that movie. But he knows exactly what spots are extra-ticklish for his hyung now, how his laugh sounds up close, how he looks like when he gets sleepy. 

They fall asleep still cuddled up, laptop disregarded on the floor, their film forgotten sometime between Hyungwon pulling Hoseok in for a kiss and Hoseok climbing up on top of him hungrily. Besides adorning a few more love bites on Hyungwon’s collarbones, the older stays on Santa’s nice list, satisfied just to hold him in his arms - if he groped that perfect little ass a bit, he swears his hand slipped. It's the best sleep Hyungwon's had in months, and before Hoseok sleeping has been the love of his life. He can't remember a time when he hated his alarm more than when it breaks their comfortable embrace. This is how he learns that Hoseok is a very light sleeper - much like a bunny. 

The kitchen turns into a mess as they struggle together in the morning to prepare some breakfast before the taller leads the ulzzang to the railway station. Saying goodbye turns out to be much more difficult than either expected and they almost miss when the ride to Anyang is announced. Both are reluctant to let the other go as they cling to each other in a rushed hug. Hyungwon feels as if he’s sitting on needles from nervousness, frightened by how quickly he got attached to the other, how vulnerable he’s left right now, terrified by the thought that once Hoseok steps on that train he’s gonna forget all about that boy from Gwangju he met online. 

“I’ll call you as soon as I get home,” Hoseok says, accentuating each word with a small kiss. Hyungwon nods sleepily, his hands gripping the other’s wrists and keeping him close. The platform gets more crowded, but they’re safe hiding behind the shadows of pillars. There are millions of questions and doubts running through Hyungwon’s mind, thousands of reasons why being in a long distance relationship with this beautiful boy wouldn’t work, but as Hoseok departs to get in his train all these reasons are crushed by the thousand more motives why it could all be worth it.


	2. The eve of blindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Distance doesn't stop them from getting closer on all sorts of levels. But the illusion of perfect starts to dissipate little by little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have made a [little playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRCJXOaEny6OpIoj1Neleuu_gfD7ySac6) to fit this story. The songs are in order with the events and each chapter has 5 songs. I know sometimes music can get one into the story easier.  
> So without further ado, here is chapter 2.

Hyungwon was as inexperienced as they come. Never having an actual relationship or even a proper first date, never been kissed or felt his heart truly flutter when a cute boy looked his way. This all changed now that he met Shin Hoseok in person, an ulzzang who made him doubt everything he ever knew about himself while making him feel more certain than ever about who he truly is. It’s like he sees the world, the same bland world that rarely impressed him before, for the first time in vivid colors and bright lights. Has life always been this beautiful?

Unable to return home immediately and with sleep being dismissed for the time being since he’s all pumped up from his last kiss with Hoseok, Hyungwon ends up wandering aimlessly around the train station long after the taekwondo fighter has left the city for good. If he went back to his house, he’d probably end up projecting Hoseok’s image everywhere and imagine all the things they could have done together or remembering the ones they actually did, which would only make him long even more for the blond ulzzang. The young boy is too caught up in his own thoughts to acknowledge the curious looks passersby throw his way or pay too much mind to the knot in the pit of his stomach.

Eventually, Hyungwon decides to pay Minhyuk a visit in an attempt to stop thinking of the contradiction that is Hoseok, with his flirty Casanova image but sweet and endearing personality.  Of course, as it should have been expected, this turns out not to be the best of ideas. “Holy shit, what’s that on your neck?” Minhyuk shrieks almost turning the whole neighborhood deaf when he sees the black haired, eyes wide as saucers staring at the dark spot that bloomed overnight on the pale skin.

Hyungwon’s hand immediately flies to cover his neck, embarrassed he completely forgot to cover up the hickey his _boyfriend_ gave him. He has no time to defend himself, the other already dragging him inside and scurrying down the hallway before his mother can see Hyungwon and ask unnecessary questions. Once they reach the blond’s bedroom, Minhyuk pries the younger’s fingers away to get a better look at the mark Hoseok left behind, then whistles, a big wolfish smirk on his lips. “So how was it? Did you go all the way? Is he big?” he suddenly bombards his friend with nosey questions.

The tall boy flushes so deep the red bite on his neck can barely be seen anymore while Minhyuk just stares at him expectantly with big innocent eyes and not so innocent grin. “H-how should I know?” he splutters beyond uncomfortable that his best friend brought up his newly acquired boyfriend’s dick size. Which he clearly has no knowledge of (yet). It’s so like Minhyuk to ask such shameless things with the straightest face and laugh when the other person freezes.

Walking to the closet, the modelesque guy carefully checks his image in the mirror attached to the door. No wonder Minhyuk’s eyes seemed to pop out of their orbits when he saw his friend standing in the doorway. He was a hot mess, looking like he just survived a tiger pouncing on him. His hair is still disheveled, his shirt is all rumpled, his cheeks are now colored a pretty pink and that mark on his neck is so obvious he might need multiple layers of foundation to cover it. But he looks _alive_. He feels alive too for once in his life and the world stopped being black and white, and boring, and meaningless. For months he had a reason to wake up every morning with a smile on his face, which grew without fail whenever he checked his phone and saw another message from Hoseok. Speaking of the devil, his phone chimes with a notification and the other soon starts to bombard his phone with texts, promising to give Hyungwon some space only when he finds out he’s with Minhyuk at the moment.

“Love looks good on you,” Minhyuk teases but Hyungwon can tell he means well. After applying some foundation on the marks adorning his once pale skin in spite of his best friend’s complains of wasting expensive product, Hyungwon repays for the borrowed makeup with a brief description of his day with Hoseok, skipping the too intimate details. Minhyuk eats everything up, eyes sparkling like they do when he reads one of his cheesy boys love manhwas or talking about his ideal type.

The slightly older boy has always been a romantic at heart, dreaming of meeting his soulmate in the cheesiest of ways and receiving confessions ripped out of American chick-flicks, while Hyungwon had no interest in such things in the least. So he indulges Minhyuk with his stories about Hoseok - after all, he’s the one who made it possible for the couple to meet each other in the first place. The dopey smile doesn’t leave his face even for a second while he reminisces on the feeling of Hoseok’s hand in his own as they walked around the streets of Gwangju.

Once he reaches the part where Hoseok said goodbye with many kisses and there’s nothing left to share, Minhyuk brings out his playstation controllers claiming they need to celebrate this with a Fifa competition. Luckily for the black haired, after some time his phone buzzes yet again in his pocket and saves him from another round. Minhyuk already won the past three. He doesn’t have to guess who it is, considering it’s been about two hours since he arrived at his friend’s house, and that soft smile crawls back on his face as he looks at the pouty image.

 

***

 

The summer before his senior year was supposed to have a very promising start, in Hyungwon’s humble opinion. He and Minhyuk have made plans to go to the pool every few days in order to get in shape (Hyungwon to keep up with Hoseok’s physique, and Minhyuk to try and land a boyfriend of his own), to get part-time jobs and win some more money they could spend on a trip, and to study for the upcoming CSATs so they could get into a good college together. Honestly, this didn’t quite represent Hyungwon’s deepest desires, but since he can’t sleep for the entirety of these three months, then this would do.

Except, of course, nothing goes as planned. Hyungwon and Minhyuk do go to the pool together every once in awhile, but the blond is so caught up helping his parents run their business, doing whatever he can at the store that the two barely meet up for days on end. So Hyungwon ends up spending an awfully big amount of time at Changkyun’s house, watching him play video games, playing with Changkyun’s little pup Toksooni, and facetiming with Hoseok whenever he wasn’t actually trying to get some studying done.

“Why do you even bother to come here if we don’t talk for hours, hyung?” The younger boy asks curiously, eyes glued to his League match. (Minhyuk always teases him for still playing League and not dedicating himself fully to the beauty that is Overwatch, but Changkyun always shrugs and says he can’t ditch his League crew). Hyungwon doesn’t respond immediately because as predictable as the question was, he still didn’t stop to consider that until now. Well, if he didn’t spend his time at his friends’ place, he’d have to stay at home where his parents would interrogate him about school, and when would he bring home a girl, and _why does he spend so much time on his phone talking with some guy they haven’t met_.

As soon as they had returned from visiting Hyungwon’s grandparents, his mother tried to make him confess somebody came over while they were gone. At first Hyungwon panicked, thinking he’d been discovered, but soon realized his parents just expected him to throw a party while they weren’t home like most teenagers do. Unfortunately, their suspicion was founded, and since Hyungwon’s did show some strange behavior lately staying on his phone basically 24/7 and texting ‘his friends’, his mother kept insisting he’s dating somebody. He doesn’t even want to think of their reaction if they found out the truth. The less time spent home, the more chances for him not to expose his relationship with Hoseok.  

But he doesn’t tell Changkyun all this, he and Minhyuk share enough as it is with their dongsaeng and, unlike the later, Hyungwon feels bad for it and doesn’t want to make things awkward with Changkyun because of his sexuality. So instead he just shrugs and says, “Better than home. And you got cookies and Toksooni.” His attention shifts from his younger friend’s tensed up back while he’s trying to win the match (Hyungwon never quite understood the rules of any of those games he and Minhyuk like to play) to his phone as he texts his boyfriend a short but prompt, ‘ _I’m bored_ ’.

The response comes quick in the form of a post-workout photo of Hoseok with the hem of his shirt between his teeth, abs on full display and covered in a thin layer of sweat. It’s not the first time Hyungwon’s seen such a pose from the older and definitely not the last considering how things are going, but the sight still gets him hot under the collar. He’s definitely not bored when he reads the cheeky, ‘ _join me in the shower then’._ Ever since they’ve actually met in person Hoseok has become even more cocky and bold with his flirting and Hyungwon’s sure his boyfriend would gladly send him nudes even without being asked to. Well, it’s not like Hyungwon would mind any of those. He quickly saves the photo to his storage as well before typing his reply.

_‘too bad there are like 100 miles between us’_

He doesn’t even get to put his phone down before he receives the answer, and thinking of Hoseok staying in the gym lockers and eagerly waiting for his texts makes a flock of butterflies swarm through his stomach searching for their way out.

_‘155 miles, baby. and if I were there you wouldn’t be bored at all, I’d make sure of that’_

Hyungwon glances at Changkyun, who is too absorbed in his game and probably hearing nothing with those big headphones planted on his head. Toksooni is peacefully napping next to him, but the phone’s notification sound stirs him up a bit so the black haired apologizes with scratches behind the ears. There’s a silly idea that strikes him and it becomes a reality before he can actually look at it from a rational point of view and without realizing he pressed send as soon as the words are typed.

_‘and how would you do that babe?’_

The three dots signaling Hoseok is already writing a reply appear immediately and Hyungwon takes it as his cue to go to his own house before this conversation gets too heated - it was unavoidable when it came to the blond ulzzang. So after telling Changkyun he’s going back home to which he gets some raised eyebrows since Minhyuk is supposed to come later with pizza once he’s done with the store, he quickly walks the two streets distance to his house. When he reaches the safety of his room, heart beating fast not only because he ran in order to get here quicker, Hyungwon pats his own shoulder for making this call since his knees turn weak when he pulls out his phone and sees the new message.

‘ _i’d kiss you until your lips are red and puffy again, i’d bite your neck to show everyone that you’re mine, i’d slowly undress you and mark every inch of you then kiss it better until you moan for me again. i can’t forget that sound you made when i came over’_

Involuntarily, he lets out a low whimper and bites his lip, rereading the long text a few times and thinking that if Hoseok’s professional taekwondo career doesn’t work out, he can always turn to writing erotica. The books would surely be a hit, especially with Hoseok’s picture on the cover. The air is hot as it is and Hyungwon really doesn’t like summer, he prefers the cold winter when he can warm himself up with hot cocoa or by the fireplace (or cuddling a certain blond ulzzang). But there’s still a long way til sweater weather is even due and his boyfriend might freak out he said more than he should so he types back a shameless, ‘ _Hyung...I really need you right now’._

And he does. His sweatpants hide nothing to the imagination and he’s glad nobody goes out at this hour in their neighborhood to have seen his walk of shame. He imagines way too easily how Hoseok would crawl on top of him, true to his promise making Hyungwon moan his name with kisses and bites and _marks,_ and how he’d undress Hyungwon teasingly slow with that smirk of his. And then…The younger’s breath hitches as his imagination crosses lines the two of them haven’t yet.  He pictures way too easily how Hoseok would reach for the lube in his nightstand just like he does right now, how he’d gently warm it up for his boyfriend while teasing the black haired boy with his words.

‘ _fuck Hyungwonnie, i’d take such good care of you baby’_

_‘i’d tease you just right, jerking you off fast’_

_‘only to suddenly go slow and stop you from cumming’_

_‘i’d finger you slow, curl my fingers in you til i find your spot and then abuse it’_

_‘are you doing this now?’_

His inbox is about to blow up from all the incoming messages, each line stirring something deep inside of him where he can’t reach. Hyungwon’s beyond flustered at this point, two fingers working himself open just like Hoseok described in his text. And while his own are long and pretty like everything else that’s him (not his words), Hoseok’s fingers are thicker and he’s sure they’d feel even better. He manages to reply a weak approval, too caught up in the pleasure he’s reaching to care about anything else. But then his phone is ringing and he completely freezes, a low whimper on his tongue as he picks up. “Hyung…”

“ _Fuck_ , you’re really doing it, aren’t you? Are you on your bed spreading your legs for me, Wonnie?” Another whimper is all he gets, the younger swallowing his tongue in the process and losing his ability to speak. “Good, and you’re fingering yourself for me?” The husky voice makes Hyungwon moan wantonly, inhibitions thrown out the window as he finds his spot and keeps pushing his digits repeatedly against it. There’s a deep primal groan from the other side and the younger fears he’s gonna cum right there and then, or worse, that he has some exhibitionist kink if he gets off on Hoseok listening to him masturbating.

He doesn’t register the sound of a shower in the background, but he does hear the wet noise of Hoseok touching himself, the heavy panting in the receptor, the quiet call of his name.  Briefly, he wonders how the fuck did the blond manage to write long ass texts while jerking off, but the push of his own fingers takes away his ration and ability to think of anything else besides his impending orgasm. “H-hyung, I’m close,” he whimpers into the phone and reaches with his free hand to touch his leaking hardon.

“Think of me, _fuck_ , I want you to think of me slamming into you, fucking your tight hole until you see white and --” the strain in the blond’s voice gives him away and Hyungwon can just imagine how he’d look, hair sticking sweatily to his forehead, arms tensed, abdomen hard as he keeps fucking into his younger boyfriend. He can almost _feel_ how good the other would fill him up and he’s never wanted something inside of him more than now. And with that picture in mind, the other’s words get interrupted rapidly by a needy cry.

“ _Hoseok!”_ Hyungwon shouts as he spills over his stomach, head thrown back in pleasure and phone sliding from between his head and shoulder onto the pillow. It takes him a full minute to come back to his senses and register the fact that his boyfriend, who just walked him through amazing phone sex, is still on the line. Attempting to breathe normally, Hyungwon takes once again the heated device and puts it to his ear. “Hyung?”

“ _Damn kitten, you know how to work up a man.”_ The smirk on Hoseok’s face is obvious by the tone of his voice, and the praise makes Hyungwon beam and blush at the same time.

 

***

 

Getting invited by Hoseok to a week-long holiday to Jeju Island wasn’t the surprising part. Nor Minhyuk accepting to come along with them so his parents wouldn’t find this sudden trip too suspicious. What completely shocked Hyungwon was how easily the Chaes accepted to let him go with ‘Minhyuk and some friends of his’ for a whole seven days away from home. The whole scenario seemed unreal to the tall boy and until Hoseok ran to envelope him in his strong arms, he kept expecting something to go wrong. But here they were, the blond hugging him so tight he almost can’t breathe anymore and no longer than five seconds later he feels soft full lips pressed against his own. The tenderness of the kiss makes him smile wide and wrap his arms around the other’s neck, dropping his bag in the process.

He only realizes there’s another figure behind his boyfriend when they break apart, and with a large grin on his face, Hoseok introduces his friend. “This is Hyunwoo, my friend from gym.” Right, he did say he’s gonna bring one more person so Minhyuk won’t be the third wheel, Hyungwon remembers now. The new guy greats the trip mates awkwardly with a wave of his hand and the black haired can’t help but mentally compare him with a soft teddy bear completely out of place in this context. He waits for Minhyuk’s loud mouth to start working its wonders and bombard Hyunwoo with questions and stories, but when he looks at the pastel dyed boy he finds him eerily quiet. _Oh?_

“It’s good to see you in person, Minhyuk. Thanks again for introducing me to my boyfriend,” Hoseok says, pulling Hyungwon once more closer and seemingly not being aware of the strange atmosphere leering around. Minhyuk mumbles a small ‘nice to meet you too’, eyes downcast and appearing as if he can’t wait for their flight to be announced. Hyungwon frowns at his best friend’s strange behavior but decides not to comment on it for the moment. Not when he could very well enjoy Hoseok’s affectionate touches and small kisses and his warm hugs. It’s unbelievable that he gets a whole week of this special treatment and he already dreads the day he will have to return to his boring life in Gwangju.

The flight to Jeju, although weird with how Minhyuk insisted he stay at the window knowing full well that Hyungwon and Hoseok would take the other two seats while Hyunwoo would have to stay on the fourth one across from them, is quite relaxing. Hyungwon even manages to catch a small nap on Hoseok’s shoulder, lulled by the plane’s smooth movements and the blond’s heat. The holiday atmosphere kicks in as soon as they land and even Minhyuk seems to return to his usual self, grinning from ear to ear and urging the others to hurry up and let their luggage at the small beach house they rented so they can then go for a swim. Hyungwon shakes his head at his friend's antics, which quickly get forgotten when his boyfriend slips his fingers between his own and squeezes his hand.

“I’m really happy you’re here, Wonnie.” There it is again, the fathomless feeling making his heart clench painfully at the sight of that pearly white smile. Hyungwon is starting to worry there’s a flower growing inside his chest, making room inside his rib cage pushing through with stubborn determination, a flower blooming and growing larger and more beautiful with each moment spent in Hoseok’s presence. The flower basks in it like it would in sunlight, rotating its petals towards the blond’s direction and waiting to be noticed. He is really smitten, nutty as a fruitcake for Hoseok if he’s started having thoughts that would outweird even Changkyun. Snapping out of this temporary state of softening of the brain, the younger returns the gentle smile shyly, his cheeks burning prettily under the Jeju sun. “I am too.”

 

 

The house, although small, has three bedrooms so nobody is forced to share a room - besides the couple who wanted to anyway. But they have no time to analyze it in great details with Minhyuk obnoxiously grabbing his inflatable mattress and running out the door. For Hyungwon it’s been a few years since he’s got to see the beach, his parents aren’t too keen on going places when they took time off and they’d end up visiting relatives or just staying home most of the time. “I don’t know how to swim,” he confesses to Hoseok as they put down a big towel to lie on while Hyunwoo settles the big sun umbrella they just bought on the way to the beach.

“Don’t worry,” the blond grins as he takes off his T-shirt and suddenly Hyungwon is blinded not by the bright sun, but by Hoseok’s pale chest glistening in a thin layer of sweat. His mouth feels like sandpaper when the older just drops their bags carelessly on the sand and pulls him into his arms. “I will be right here to save you, princess.” Hyungwon grunts embarrassed, hiding his face in the crook of Hoseok’s neck and wondering if his boyfriend’s already getting a sunstroke. Being too caught up in his own little world and getting lost in the feeling of home that Hoseok’s embrace exudes, Hyungwon fails to notice the way Minhyuk freezes up yet again when Hyunwoo takes off his shirt as well, only remembering his friend’s presence when he lets out a strange high pitched dolphin shriek and runs for the water.

“This guy, seriously…” Hyungwon mumbles, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of Hoseok’s neck and making him giggle. The blond ulzzang glances at the lanky boy dropped across his frame, only seeing his dark locks before a mischievous grin takes over his handsome face. Without a warning, his hands reach for the younger’s behind giving it a tight squeeze as he throws his boyfriend over his shoulder and runs with him into the ocean, sand and then water splashing everywhere on his way. “You’re crazy! Put me down!” Hyungwon shouts, fists hitting the other’s back in protest but laughter betraying just how much he enjoys it.

They join Minhyuk, still red as a crab and apparently trying to drown in his own abashment, and challenge him to a water fight, the balance not fair in the least when they were two and Minhyuk was just one. But then Hyunwoo, not one to sit on his own on the beach while the rest are having fun, appears next to Minhyuk and Hyungwon wonders if his friend is going to dissolve into sea-foam like the little mermaid. It’s fascinating and the trip unexpectedly turning into a safari and the main attraction is Minhyuk’s apparent inability to function normally (‘normal’ being used a bit too loosely and too kindly, based on a special scale) around one Son Hyunwoo.

Hyungwon voices these thoughts later in the evening when he waits for Hoseok to come out of the shower. He’s already taken his after a long day spent at the beach and sand sticking to every joint and crack - if his skin doesn’t breakout then he’s surely invincible. The door is left ajar, steam slipping into the already humid and unbearably hot room. Is this what living at the tropics would feel like? “I think Minhyuk might be crushing on your friend,” Hyungwon concludes his brief analysis of the pastel haired pest he likes to call his best friend while fanning himself with one of the random magazines lying around.

He knew the renting price was suspiciously cheap, of course, it was when they had no air conditioner! As he rolls around on their large bed for what feels like the thirtieth time (that side is not cool anymore and way too warm for him to lie on), he comes face to face with his boyfriend. Or, better yet, face to crotch. Trailing his eyes up that worked abdomen and to Hoseok’s smirk, Hyungwon finds himself unable to breathe properly when the towel wrapped snug around the older’s hips falls onto the floor. The swift motion makes him look down.

And oh my god, Hoseok is close to popping a boner. Gulping down several times to ease his nervousness, Hyungwon tries not to stare for too long at what’s between his boyfriend’s toned legs. Damn it, Minhyuk was right - he is big. In this moment, it seems like all of Hyungwon’s blood has left his body and rushed into his rosy cheeks as he glances up and locks eyes with the older ulzzang. He has never seen another guy’s member and definitely not this close to him, and despite all the dirty content he’s watched and read lately preparing for this very moment, all Hyungwon really wishes for is to disappear. Does Hoseok expect something like this from him? He tries not to let that thought linger too much, fearing how sinking in would hurt, and instead he attempts an escape route. “I-I think t-they’re waiting for us. D-dinner, right?” he stutters out, making the herculean effort not to look down. Again.

Hoseok looks confused, eyebrows knitting in a frown like he has utterly forgotten about their plans to go out for pizza with Hyunwoo and Minhyuk after everyone’s done cleaning up. But he accepts reluctantly, walking to his bag and pulling out a new outfit. Perhaps it’s absolutely dumb to look away while Hoseok puts on clothes, but Hyungwon still does it even though his boyfriend was standing naked right in front of him mere seconds ago. They don’t say anything on their way to the open space that is the living room and kitchen where they find Minhyuk listening with great interest whatever Hyunwoo is talking about (seals, apparently).

Although they start on with the wrong foot, dinner goes smoothly in the end, Hoseok snapping out of his mood and going back to being the loving boyfriend Hyungwon fell in love with. And despite the comfort that the brunet never realized his best friend always offers through his endless rambles (which seem to bring out the oldest out of his own shell), Hyungwon still can’t completely calm down, his mind restless and full of question. After eating too much pizza, Minhyuk’s hunger pushing him into ordering more than he can actually finish, the two pairs decide to go for a stroll by the beach. If it were solely up to the two gym rats they’d even go for a jog, but Hyungwon pinches Hoseok particularly hard when he suggests such an atrocious thing.

Jeju is really beautiful, stunningly so, but the youngest of the four cannot for the life of him enjoy it like he should. Not when he’s questioning Hoseok’s reason for dating him and when the arm wrapped around his waist makes him want to jump out of his own skin. “I think you’re right,” the blond suddenly says, interrupting his boyfriend’s musing. Hyungwon doesn’t turn to look at him, eyes cast down at his own feet. Left. Right. Left. Right. Hoseok matches his pace like in everything else. Well, almost everything else. “Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. Look,” the other whispers, jutting his chin forward to the other two boys who accompany them.

Hyungwon’s eyes follow the indication and his eyebrows almost reach his hairline when he notices just how close the two are walking, how quiet Minhyuk is talking and how happy their smiles look. They’re not much different than he and Hoseok if he thinks about it, minus the actual touching. God, that hand feels like hot lava even through the material of his shirt. But he shakes that idea away. “Is Hyunwoo into guys too?” Hyungwon asks instead, focusing on his best friend and Hoseok’s buddy walking ahead of them. Maybe he can finally return the favor with the blond’s help and the loud chatterbox will finally have the romantic relationship he’s been craving since forever.

“He’s curious for sure. I saw him checking out Min’s ass when we got up from the pizza place.” The brunet scoffs at that. Typical for a straight guy realizing he’s not that straight - thou Hyungwon wouldn’t know, he’s never considered himself anything before having the big sexuality epiphany. He knows Hoseok didn’t really either and that he was aware of his preferences towards both genders since puberty - they’ve had this talk months ago. “Should we give them some space?” The older suggests quietly and Hyungwon is quick to nod, knowing this will be the push Minhyuk needs right now. It’s only after Hoseok shouts that they’re going back to the beach house ‘cause they’re tired that Hyungwon realizes what this implies.

He’s careful. Possibly overly so by changing into his pajamas in the bathroom, but he doesn’t want to risk any awkward moment like the one before. Hoseok already awaits for him in bed, one arm behind his head, the other holding the remote control and searching for anything to watch at his hour, and chest completely bare. At least this time he’s wearing boxers, Hyungwon tries to console himself. With a sigh, he gets into the bed as well and snuggles close to his boyfriend, unable to resist such a temptation. The ulzzang immediately pulls the other closer and kisses his forehead sweetly, making the younger boy smile shyly like a kitten.

They settle for a re-running American sitcom neither of them has watched before nor particularly want to watch right now either, but it’s good background noise to fall asleep to. Hyungwon, of course, doesn’t need a lot of encouragement before closing his eyes, however, feeling fingers trail up his side and beneath his shirt get him more awake than he’s felt all day. Hoseok is still restless by the looks of it so Hyungwon decides to put a stop to it by promptly interlacing their fingers and holding the other’s arm draped across his middle, unable to move as he pleases. He sighs again and nuzzles closer, wishing to reach the boy he truly fell in love with and not the one looking for openings at every corner. His relaxing holiday sounds more like a long week by the looks of it.

 

“So how does it feel?” Minhyuk asks a few days later when he and Hyungwon sunbathe, truthfully resting under their rainbow-colored umbrella so their pale skin doesn’t get burned in an instant. The younger frowns at his friend’s question, turning his head from the direction the other two went to get them ice coffee and looking at Minhyuk properly. The salty water has decolored his hair slightly, the blue locks more silver than anything else and his look really blends in with the beach. Minhyuk could become a popular ulzzang in no time and he’s not the only one who thinks that according to the comments on Hoseok’s latest photo with all four of them.

“You know,” Minhyuk jolts Hyungwon with his elbow and winks as though he’s in on some secret. “Don’t tell me all you two did for three days was cuddle.” And then it dawns on him what Minhyuk’s hinting at. He vehemently denies it, shaking his head until the loud boy worries it’s going to roll off his shoulders and down to the ocean while repeating ‘no, no’ over and over again. “Geez, calm down. You don’t have to tell me all the details. I was just curious, ya know? Give me a bone, I am the one who hooked you two up.”

Hyungwon wants to explain to the other that yes, actually, all they did until now was cuddle and make out but never took things further, no matter what the obvious hickey on his collarbone might say. He self-consciously covers the spot with his palm, skin still tender to touch - Hoseok was so hard to kick off last night that Hyungwon even felt scared about where things were going. But he doesn’t get to voice his worries and concerns or even ask Minhyuk’s opinion on whether or not Hoseok is only using him and his feelings are insincere because the abovementioned blond and his buddy return holding two big cups each. “Americano for the princesses,” the ulzzang teases before leaning down to brush his lips against Hyungwon’s and give him the coffee.

The brunet smiles at the apparent sweet gesture but his heart still feels unsettled by the prior thoughts. They’re not new at all, possibly just as old as the concern that this is all just a big joke for Hoseok. Sometimes, he searches for the core of the issue at hand - this is his first relationship, he has no experience whatsoever while Hoseok has more than he probably imagines, and above all, there is the pressure of being closeted. Well, not so much here on Jeju where nobody knows them and they can hold hands and steal small kisses without fearing to be discovered by some acquaintance. It feels nice. It feels _right_. But Hyungwon is aware that not all we feel is real as well.

“Hyunwoo-hyung, let’s go build a sandcastle!” Minhyuk proposes enthusiastically and even though he only receives a small ‘Ah’, it’s more than enough for the light haired boy to drag the other to the shore, a few meters away from where the waves crash. Hyungwon realizes a second too late this means he’s all alone with Hoseok now and that makes him turn all of a sudden in an awkward turtle, avoiding eye contact and slurping from his pink striped straw. The blond sits down next to him quietly and reaches for the suncream they placed safely in their shared beach bag before pouring some in his hand and dabbing it all over his chest and arms.

“Damn, I’m already getting a tan,” the older pouts making Hyungwon laugh and roll his eyes. Such was the tragic life of Shin Hoseok. “Can you do my back, babe?” he asks while taking his boyfriend’s drink out of the taller’s hand and rudely tipping from it despite having a beverage himself. Hyungwon sighs like he’s overly annoyed with such behavior when in fact he finds it endearing. Hoseok’s _smoking hot_. His skin almost burns Hyungwon’s hand when he applies lotion on it, seems like the ulzzang stayed too much in the sun for his own good. Opening his mouth to warn the other about it, Hyungwon freezes when Hoseok lets out a guttural moan that sends shivers right down his spine.

His fingers tremble as he massages his boyfriend’s shoulder blades. He’s got to rack his nails across them the only other time they met in person and Hoseok’s slept over. That had been quite an eventual day, from his first kiss to long hours of making out and feeling each other up, the memory of it all making Hyungwon’s rosy cheeks even more colorful. That time, he wasn’t as afraid as now about taking the next step into their relationship - maybe it has something to do with being a hormonal teen or trusting that Hoseok won’t expect such a thing from him the first time they meet. But now, after sharing a bed for over three nights with the blond he’s shaking in his slippers. The possibility of being dumped after he gives himself to Hoseok hangs over his head like a dark cloud, however, he tries to avoid thinking about it too much.  

The first two nights, he felt pathetically scared of sleeping with the ulzzang. There were so many things to consider and not being able to please Hoseok like he should is just one of them. Last night, though, something changed between the two of them, an invisible switch that brought them close to crossing the line. The beginning is all blurry, still, though he’s sure they were watching some movie before one of them kissed the other - who did it is irrelevant. But soon their kisses became deeper, needier and things escalated so fast from that point. He vividly remembers the way Hoseok ground his erection against his own while sucking on the love bite adorning his collarbone right now.

It felt so natural to lie down with his boyfriend getting comfortable between his legs, clinging to him as he’s hit by the ecstasy of having his first orgasm received from somebody else - though now that he looks back on it, dry humping and creaming his boxers wasn’t really something to be proud of. Minhyuk also expected the two of them to have already slept together and after all, it’s a normal thing to do when you’re in love with somebody. He’s not even ‘too young’, not at all when he’s almost eighteen and most of his classmates have lost their virginity, albeit to girls, over the past few years. Does that mean he should follow the herd?

“Wonnie, we’re gonna run out of suncream if you use it all on my back,” Hoseok teases and Hyungwon’s hands immediately cease their rubbing motion.

 

 

  
Most of the times Hyungwon forgets he’s actually dating an ulzzang - and a well known one at that. But as he looks with a sense of fondness at Hoseok’s photo from their first day here, it’s hard to ignore the big numbers. Especially when he’s on the other’s phone and the notifications keep going crazy for the whole time he looks on Hoseok’s timeline but mostly checks the comments left. There are some who call Hyungwon ugly and undeserving of the beauty that is Wonho, some who say they look cute together, but most comments are shameless flirts hitting on his boyfriend as if he hasn’t just revealed he’s already dating somebody else. There is no reason to worry, he tries to reassure himself, after all what other proof of devotion could he ask from the blond after they just made their relationship public. It felt...relieving. Like he’s one step out in the light but still covered partially by the safety of darkness. Like it’s okay for some strangers on the internet to know he’s not straight, but the ones who know him in real life to have no clue.

“Spying on my SNS?” Hoseok asks, closing the door behind him and putting on the console across the bed the beers he brought for him and Hyungwon. Initially, all four of them were supposed to go out for pizza again but Minhyuk somehow got an insolation, fever and all making him unable to get up from bed for a while. Hyungwon offered to stay and look after his friend while the other guys go to have some fun on their own, but they both refused and Hyunwoo even took nurse duties leaving Hoseok and Hyungwon to themselves.

“Damn, I missed my chance,” the brunet replies drily. Actually, the thought of lurking through his boyfriend’s texts didn’t even cross his mind, invading another’s privacy is not something he’d do, especially not when Hoseok hasn’t given him any serious reason to get suspicious regarding fidelity - though his insecure self keeps poking the bear called paranoia and reminding him of Hoseok’s player reputation. A sharp sting on his left ass cheek that echoes in the room makes him jolt up from where he was lying down on his stomach and turn to glare at the smirking guy behind him. The older only offers him a beer in return before cracking open his own and taking a seat next to Hyungwon.

“You can stalk my profile when I’m not here, babe,” he teases, enjoying the cute blush that blooms on the brunet’s cheeks. One day he’s gonna end up eating him whole, unable to resist all the adorableness that is his kitten.“Sometimes I wanna post all the cute selcas you send me, but I don’t wanna share you with anybody else,” he presses on before leaning in and kissing Hyungwon shortly. A peck is enough to leave a lingering cherry taste on the taller’s lips until he replaces it with the bitter taste of beer. He’s not that fond of alcohol but something tells him he needs to let loose for the night.

Hoseok wastes no time either, inching closer to him, resting his head on Hyungwon’s shoulder before nuzzling his neck and pressing a string of kisses along the column of his jaw. Before he realizes it, the drink is already finished to the last drop and the empty can settled somewhere away, while Hoseok is still focused on his neck. His head is spinning but he’s not certain if it’s the alcohol kicking in faster than expected or just the effect the blond can have on him. Tonight, Hyungwon is more pliable in Hoseok’s itching hands, easily welcoming him in his embrace and pulling him closer until their bodies are pressed flush. “Hyung,” he whispers in the other’s ear and closes his eyes, simply enjoying his boyfriend’s kisses, his touch on Hyungwon’s heated body, the brief rub of their crotches against each other.

“Please,” Hoseok’s voice sounds strained like he’s holding himself back from devouring the lithe body beneath him, barely abstaining from committing a sin. He can see it too, see it in those dark orbs how Hyungwon’s soft word unleashed something deep within Hoseok, something primal and - could it be? - dangerous. As if his heart wasn’t beating fast enough, now it skyrockets to a seriously worrying rhythm, especially when the muscular guy bites on his pulse point. The loud moan that escapes the brunet is so delightful Hoseok can’t help himself but abuse the red skin until it turns completely purple and the younger is writhing underneath.

“I need you, Hyungwonnie. Please, I’ll take good care of you. You trust hyung, right?” It’s unfair, completely unfair how effortless it is for the ulzzang to get his boyfriend right where he wanted him. With more sweet words whispered in his ear, Hyungwon shyly raises his arms to let the other take off his shirt before silently pulling at Hoseok’s own black wife beater and throwing it somewhere on the floor. Despite seeing his boyfriend’s worked muscles a thousand times by now, this one feels totally different. Their kisses are turning sloppier at this point, Hyungwon unable to keep up with Hoseok’s frenzied pace or his experienced mouth.

He’s so lost in the moment he doesn’t even notice when the only layer of clothing separating their skin from touching disappears as well. This is certainly different, so much different than picturing it in his mind or Hoseok flashing him when his towel ‘accidentally’ fell. Definitely, nothing could have prepared him for how their chests feel when pressed against each other, nor how frustratingly arousing it is to have Hoseok’s cock pressed against his stomach. His alcohol resistance seriously needs work on, but his inhibitions are wonderfully locked into a latent state which lets Hyungwon do things he normally wouldn't. Like reach down and wrap his hand around Hoseok’s thick length, hesitant at first then more firmly.

The blond hides his face in turn in the crook of Hyungwon’s neck - a favorite spot for him apparently, groaning pleased when his younger boyfriend starts moving his hand experimentally up and down. “Wonnie…” How can someone look so beautiful in such an indecent position? Are the words hanging on the tip of Hyungwon’s tongue, while his eyes are focused and ready to catch every small detail he can get from the blond’s reaction. “Can you suck me off?” Suddenly, Hyungwon turns a whole lot sober, feeling each syllable like a rock thrown at him. Worrying his lower lip between his teeth, he avoids looking Hoseok directly in the eye, gaze still trained on the heavy cock in his hand and thumb slowly circling the leaking tip.

“I never did that…” he confesses shily and he just knows Hoseok is smirking above him. As much as he dislikes the position he’s forced into, he doesn’t want to disappoint his boyfriend and let his fears of not satisfying him come true. The older doesn’t seem to care about that detail too much or maybe he’s downright ignoring what Hyungwon just said as he rests a hand on his shoulder and pushes him gently down, the other hand still tangled in dark hair.

“It’s okay, I’ll guide you, kitten.” A nickname he became fond off, but in this context, Hyungwon wants to shake it off if this is all he means to Hoseok. He finally dares to lock eyes with the older, however, that turns out to be yet another horrible idea. The dark gaze Hoseok is pointing at him makes him feel small and weak, but _wanted_ and in the end isn’t that what he wished for? His own hand picks up again where he left off as he feels the one tangled in his hair push his face closer. “Open your mouth,” Hoseok’s voice is still soft and not quite ordering him what to do so Hyungwon tries to find comfort in it as he does what he’s told, attempting to put in practice all the knowledge he’s gathered so far from his spank bank material.

His cheeks are blushing madly once again as he starts licking around, uncertain of what he’s actually doing or if he’s at least doing it right, but Hoseok smoothes out his hair gently while his free hand cups his jaw, encouraging him to continue. And since the older asked him to suck, that’s what he does, first just wrapping his plump lips around the tip and sucking on it slowly. Then he tries to take more of Hoseok’s member, ignoring the unfamiliar and not so pleasant taste on his tongue, trying instead to move his head up and down and create some sort of resemblance of pace.

The ulzzang still hovers above him and if he were to thrust his hips forward, Hyungwon would probably choke. Which is exactly what happens a few moments later when the blond gets carried away and loses his patience. “A-ah, I’m sorry. Just, could you do it a tad bit faster?” Still catching his breath and spit running down his chin in an unflattering manner, the younger boy feels dirty and already wants this to come to an end, though for a second there he thought he’s grasped the basics behind all this. Apparently not, and forgetting all about pleasing his boyfriend, he pushes Hoseok off himself.

“If you want me to suck you off, then better act like Hoseok not Wonho,” he blurts out before he can stop himself. The other looks absolutely perplexed at such a statement, most likely unheard before. However, Hyungwon’s very aware of the differences between Hoseok and Wonho and he’s fuming that after four full days spent with Hoseok, his internet persona kicks in and makes him act like an asshole. Still, he doesn’t want to pick up a fight right now and despite the mood flattening from his outburst, he still wraps his hand back around the blond’s dick to continue his job. At least now he doesn’t feel smothered. But then, when he least expects it, his boyfriend’s attitude towards this whole ordeal suddenly changes.

“Stop…” Hoseok says, grabbing Hyungwon’s wrist and holding it tightly. “I shouldn’t have asked you that,” he continues a second later and the brunet starts panicking when the one in front of him straightens up as if he’s ready to leave him there. “I just...” this time Hoseok is smart enough to pick his words carefully as he takes Hyungwon’s hands in his own and finds his eyes, an apologetic look reassuring the younger that he feels bad about it indeed. “I just want you so fucking much, Hyungwonnie. I can’t help myself. I want all of you, all to myself.” And there it is again. That spark that makes Hyungwon’s heart combust with love and happiness and content. And as usual, the blond beats him to it before he can even fathom a reply. “I know this is all new to you, but I promise to be more careful.”

Slowly, Hyungwon nods and wraps his arms around Hoseok’s neck, pulling him closer and just holding him like this until his quivering heart calms itself down. The other’s sweet kisses on his cheeks and shoulders certainly help this time, unrushed and genuine and making him feel appreciated and cared for. “Seokkie,” Hyungwon calls out, tilting his head to catch his lover’s lips in a sweet kiss. Hoseok complies with no complaint whatsoever, fingers tracing the brunet’s spine and leaving goosebumps on their tracks while his mouth recites love poems. Finally, _finally_ , it feels right and Hyungwon lets his boyfriend lie him down gently.

“I got you, babe.” With one more peck on the younger’s swollen lips, Hoseok sits up and goes to look for something in his bag, not even bothering to cover his nakedness. Hyungwon waits for him like a good boy, looking up at the white ceiling and counting his breaths, cheeks flushed and knees touching to preserve some modesty, although his legs are quick to be spread by the other when he returns with a bottle of lube. Hyungwon doesn’t linger too much on what Hoseok bringing that bottle on their holiday implies, it’s really not the best moment to have this sort of feelings and it seems too late to change his mind anyway. “Now you need to relax, okay?”

Easier said than done. Being overwhelmed by the older’s excitement has helped Hyungwon feel less self-conscious about himself until now but this serious and tender side of Hoseok makes him really nervous and regret not drinking the second beer when he had the chance. Unlike sucking dick, he’s not completely innocent of being fingered, even being guilty of doing it while on the phone with the smirking blond who looks like he wants to eat his soul. If Hoseok were a true demon, would he offer his soul for him to take? The strange idea flies away quickly when he feels something foreign probing at his entrance before slowly entering him. “A-ah,” he whimpers out loud before biting the inside of his cheek to mute out any awkward sound he might make.

“Don’t do that kitten, I wanna hear you,” Hoseok scolds while his digit slowly starts moving around. His fingers, albeit not as long as Hyungwon’s, are indeed thicker like the brunet imagined them to be and, _fuck_ , does it feel good. Somehow, just knowing that he’s not the one in control of this turns Hyungwon more sensitive while being hyper-aware he’s at the older’s mercy. Hoseok doesn’t give him lots of time to adjust before adding a second finger, now moving in scissor motions and stretching his walls, but it’s alright, it’s definitely alright when he grazes the taller’s prostate and elicits the most erotic meowl the blond has heard in his entire life.

It makes his cock twitch and he hardly has the patience to prepare his boyfriend properly - somehow, he manages to control himself remembering that this is more than likely Hyungwon’s first time and, after what just happened, the last thing he wants to do is scare the younger away. Yet, he’s surprised by receiving an opposite reaction when Hyungwon starts to roll his hips, the sensation not nearly enough compared to what he craves and it drives Hoseok wild just imagining what it’d be like to have Hyungwon ride him. Certainly, one day he can fulfill this fantasy of his. “Seokkie,” Hyungwon calls out once again, soft voice telling the blond he’s also reached his limit.

That is all Hoseok needs before pulling away, generously sprinkling lube on his hard shaft and positioning himself at the other’s tight entrance, going in with just the tip. He looks up, meeting Hyungwon’s glazed eyes and watching for any sign of pain while slowly entering him to the hilt. This, in turn, gets the younger whimpering and turning his head away, too embarrassed and awkward to look at Hoseok in this intimate position. He feels more vulnerable than ever, caged in the ulzzang’s arms and open for him to take a bite of his heart if he so pleases. But that is not what he wants - no, all Hoseok does is kiss away the small tears that roll down precious cheeks and apologize incessantly with sweet heartfelt words.

“I-it’s okay,” Hyungwon whispers. And it is. He knew what he was getting into, but he trusts his boyfriend to keep that promise and take care of him. He trusts his boyfriend that this is more than a fling for him and that he won’t be thrown out the door as soon as he’s been used like a cheap whore. And he hopes Hoseok will always take care of him and love him like he too loves him. All these feelings have to be buried back inside once the one on top starts moving his hips, thrusting in and out sensually. And once it starts feeling good, Hyungwon lets go of the white sheet he’s been grasping until now and wraps his arms and legs around Hoseok, clinging on to him as if searching for a lifeline. It still hurts, more than he expected or been warned, but it’s a good pain he can dismiss easily when Hoseok looks down at him with caring eyes.

However, the blond’s not used with all this vanilla wrapped up with a pretty bow around him, he’s not used to be in love like this with the person he’s fucking and it’s easy to slip into old habits. After a particular pleased whimper that could only indicate he’s found Hyungwon’s sweet spot, his thrusts turn rougher, deeper, his hips slamming harder into the other’s and lips bruising that sweet inviting mouth. His hand trails down the boy’s side, tickling him slightly, a giggle stuck in between moans as Hoseok’s hand reaches for Hyungwon’s forgotten cock, fist tight and fast pumping him close to overstimulation. It’s too much for the brunet, too hasty and rushed and he wants to cling to the feeling but all he manages is to dig his nails into his boyfriend’s toned back and leave scratch marks.

Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind the pain one bit, shifting the angle slightly so he can hit that pleasure point better, but his breath does hitch when Hyungwon gives him a matching bite on the side of his neck, moaning against Hoseok’s skin and sucking vigorously until he’s pleased with the result. He’s close, he’s so damn close but he doesn’t want to cum, not before Hyungwon does. He ignores the sting of the bite and the one spreading across his back, even ignores the too tight grip Hyungwon has on his biceps, his attention solely aimed at bringing his lover to the brink of ecstasy and then gently push him over into an abyss of bliss. And, God, does Hyungwon look like a total mess, hair curling slightly from humidity and all ruffled up against the fluffy pillow, eyes shut tightly and mouth agape calling Hoseok to him like a mantra.

“Come on baby, cum for me,” he growls out loud, his hips stuttering in their wake to offer Hyungwon his first real orgasm. And Hyungwon is so close he can almost _taste_ it, his abdomen tensing and his whole frame shaking and all he needs is for Hoseok to undo him just right. “ _Fuck_.” But suddenly, the unthinkable happens and Hyungwon feels all warm and sticky between his legs and completely unsatisfied as Hoseok pulls away in horror. “Shit, Hyungwon, I didn’t…” The tired sigh he gets as an answer feels like a harsh slap across the face as it slowly sinks in he couldn’t make Hyungwon cum before him and he couldn’t even control himself like he’s an amateur, an inexperienced loser. “Just give me a second and we can continue-”

His words are cut off by the younger’s hand covering his mouth and the beaten look which replaced that superb wrecked expression makes his heart drop. “Don’t,” is the only thing Hyungwon says, but Hoseok won’t accept such a defeated ending. Instead, he pulls out completely and gets between those long model-like legs despite the other’s hands trying to push him away. His own are once again working around Hyungwon’s cock, red and angry and probably just as disappointed at Hyungwon, but Hoseok tries to make up for it with the best blowjob of his life (and the only one the brunet received so far). Yet once more he’s too rushed into things, sucking too hard and moving his hand too fast, barely letting Hyungwon actually enjoy the feeling before he spills, salty on Hoseok’s tongue.

He’s tired, so so tired of this day and if he could forget it Hyungwon would gladly take up that offer. He doesn’t understand what went wrong, he and Hoseok have chemistry, they so painfully do and there are certainly feelings involved. Still, it wasn’t enough and frankly, if it’s going to be like this every time then Hyungwon would rather give up on sex right now before they ruin all that’s good between them. Sex changes a couple’s dynamics, he knows this and it often changes them for the worst at their age - was it worth it? His mind is only slightly put at ease by Hoseok’s strong arms, so fitting for a taekwondo fighter, wrapped around him and pulling him closer until they’re spooning. He can feel the other’s kisses against his sweaty nape and shoulder, he can make up some of the hushed apologies pressed against his temple…

But he closes his eyes tightly and hopes sleep won’t fail him as well. Maybe he can dream a better day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking more than half a year to update and I'll disclose the reason because I think you have the right to know why it was delayed. At some point, I entered into a ldr myself which made writing for this story very awkward, even though the plot is very much different from real life. That relationship is over now and I finally felt ready to return here. There are two chapters left which I'll try to deliver in a much faster time (preferably, in maximum a month). 
> 
> Thank you for reading~


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